Will Nostalgia Be The Death of Us?

Unfortunately for me, I’ve never gotten over anything ever.

I spend an absurd amount of time wishing my life away, reminiscing on days that I thought were ordinary at the time, but turned out to be some of the best. It is such a strange emotion – to feel nostalgia is the sadness and longing for something, whilst being so happy at the memory of it happening.

I suppose there is a kinder side to nostalgia. There are people who aren’t as present in my life as they once were, and whenever we get the chance to reconvene, the feeling of familiarity seems to hang in the air. This is one of the most bittersweet things I think I’ve ever experienced. Those reminiscent conversations that start with a "remember when” and leave me feeling honestly, sad. Moments like this are a constant reminder that we grew up together – all of my lasting childhood memories are thanks to them. I recall being around 7 or 8 playing outside with my friends, so conscious of spending every second together that we’d eat our lunch on each other’s doorsteps. Getting a little bit of money and half an hour to run to the shops, and as kids do, eating all the sweets before getting home.

Throughout my childhood, I spent my summers in Tenerife. I have been lucky enough to have formed lifelong friendships with people through these summers from growing up on the same island each year. I have vivid memories of my Dad teaching me how to dive as a child (something I’ve still not managed to learn), and all the other kids joining in too. I must admit, there might have been a few too many bellyflops involved with learning this. As we got older and could explore the island without our parents, we’d head to the beach and play around on pedalos, all wanting to be the driver. Being a chronic overthinker, my priority wasn’t being the driver, but that our bags stayed dry and our phones weren’t about to take a dip. The only negative from these summers were the tears shed at the end as none of us wanted to leave. The time I’ve spent growing up here will be time that I will cherish forever. Sometimes I want nothing more than to relive these moments, but that feeling is soon replaced by knowing that in a few more years, I’ll have even more to reminisce over.

Something I’m guilty of is being so conscious of making memories that I end up not living in the moment as it’s happening. Knowing I’ll never be in this exact situation again, but also not being present in it. It feels like such a strange phenomenon, and a side of nostalgia that sometimes feels a little silly to admit.

There are so many triggers for this feeling of nostalgia. From music or scent, to even immersion in the world around us – we can't escape it. It’s easy to feel like nostalgia is solely a melancholy thing but honestly, I truly find that the comforting, kinder side outweighs the fears. With this comfort, it’s easy to forget that nostalgia tends to bring a weight that feels an awful lot like pain. But this is only because we have lived through so many meaningful moments, making our lives feel even more valuable.

Maybe nostalgia will be the death of us, maybe it won’t. But from what I do know, we should keep being thankful for the memories we’ve made, and the ones that are yet to come.

©Pinterest