IT Girl

From supermodel Bella Hadid, to makeup mogul Hailey Bieber, to Gossip Girl’s iconic party girl Serena Van der Woodsen, our screens are swarmed by iconic ‘it girls’ living our dream lives. But is it achievable for the average woman who isn’t a multi-millionaire or a fictional character?

The term it girl describes the ideal woman we strive to be: she’s glamorous, perfectly dressed but never looks like she’s trying too hard; her makeup is flawless, and she somehow manages to go out with her equally aesthetic friendship group all the time while still balancing a successful career. In essence, the it girl is the ideal version of yourself. She has it all — the career, her Prince Charming — and she looks like she’s just stepped off a runway.

Unfortunately, I’m here to break the news to you: becoming one of these it girls is completely unattainable. It’s impossible to be a fictional fragment of imagination, swept straight off a Pinterest board. The it girl is simply a character on a stage or our screens; in essence, it is a performance. As much as we want to be aesthetically pleasing and perfect, we simply cannot be perfect all the time — it’s completely infeasible. The constant performance is draining, and it is unnatural to present this masked façade at all times. The average person doesn’t have the money, time, or resources to present the life we see on social media like the women we idolise. Our own day-to-day lives are not heavily edited or selected for their perfection and potential to perform well online.

However, I believe this is exactly why women adore the concept of the it girl — it isn’t reality, but an impossible standard we strive for. Women have always been held to ridiculously high standards, and the it girl is yet another example of this. We are setting ourselves disproportionate expectations based on media portrayals of what the ideal life should look like. Yet none of us benefit from this; an obsession with a mask people present on a digital stage fuses personal insecurities and comparison tightly together, resulting in a lethal cocktail of low self-esteem and unreachable goals.

So instead of holding ourselves to the highlight reels of celebrities’ lives, we should adapt to understanding that we are already it girls. You don’t need a 40-step skincare routine if your own three-step one works just fine. If you eat in a way that fuels your body and makes you feel good, you don’t need to do a juice cleanse just because your favourite NYC influencer is.

You are the one person who knows yourself better than anyone else. If you manifest the best version of yourself, the one consistent element will always be you. You are the main component of being your own it girl.

This raises the question: what about yourself do you want to change? The habits you’d like to shift, or the new ones you’d like to implement, are additions to the focus — which is you. In this case, you’re already your own girl. You’ve achieved things your younger self could never have imagined — and she’d probably think you’re rather cool. If you’re already your own it girl, then it’s simply a matter of matching your mindset to see it.

Although it’s impossible to be the perfect version of yourself 24/7, there is merit in adopting the it girl mindset. It allows you to project the best version of yourself into everything you do. You lead with confidence in yourself and your abilities, understanding that you deserve opportunities. This empowering outlook allows women to enhance their lives by feeling like the best version of themselves — from the inside out.

Approaching situations with confidence and belief, and owning them unapologetically, is a brilliant mindset to apply to daily life. Your life becomes what you want it to be when you focus on believing in yourself.

Your skin won’t always be perfectly clear. You might not manage to perfectly replicate a Vogue Beauty Secrets tutorial. And sometimes, you’ll just want to snooze your alarm. That’s not all — your hair will drop after hours spent practising the perfect bouncy blow-dry, and balancing a 9–5 with everything else going on makes it hard to get to daily 5am workout classes. It is impossible to be perfect all the time. However, there is something beautiful in imperfection, in reclaiming the performance and your confidence.

Humans are imperfect creatures, and that’s okay. We’re messy, emotional, and we struggle as well as succeed. But it’s worth remembering that you are your own it girl — and you govern your own life. The best version of you is the truest version of you, an improvised performance of your own. There is no script, no character role to fit.

Anyway, an it girl isn’t a person. It’s a state of mind.

©Vogue, Rhode Beauty