Is Growing Apart Just a Part of Growing Up?
By Katie Le Saint
LIFESTYLE
Edited by Abby Lawrence
5/12/20262 min read
©MGM
Friendship to me has always felt deeply fulfilling and special to me in a way that sometimes can be hard to verbalise. Throughout my entire life, I have craved these mutual connections of having people I care for and they care for me. Nothing makes me feel warmer than knowing I have people by my side who celebrate me and my success, as I do for them.
However, not every friendship is coming of age movie-esque, and sometimes they just don’t progress. This was something I often struggled to comprehend — the concept that not everything and everyone will stay forever. Sometimes people do change and these connections which once burned bright will fizzle out, eventually fading to a memory. This isn’t always a bad thing though. It is okay to change and be someone different and suddenly find you don’t align with people you once did. There doesn’t need to be a war of words, sometimes you just aren’t the same people anymore. Staying in any sort of relationship, romantic or platonic, in a bid to remain the same is a disservice to the both of you.
Growing pains hurt. These aren’t just limited to physical symptoms as you age, they transcend into your everyday as you grow throughout your life. Sometimes you simply can’t fit into scenarios anymore and it becomes hard to ignore. In the media we are often shown visuals of life long friendships that have blossomed from childhood and stayed true through adulthood and life's great challenges. As picturesque as this may be, it is not the standard for all friendships. I no longer feel ashamed to stop maintaining fading connections, especially when they don’t do the same.
You may move across the world, and naturally you won’t keep in touch with everyone. When you leave school you promise nothing will change and you’ll all be friends for life — for some that may be true and things might not change. For the majority, this won’t be the case. If you still maintain all these friendships I applaud you, I’m not ashamed to say that I have not. I only have regular contact with two people I went to school with, the rest naturally ran their course. That's not to say I dislike them, but they are more acquaintances if anything to me instead. I don’t feel the pressure to force something that no longer fits my situation now. However, the ones I do hold close are so dear to me and my new connections as I’ve progressed in life, and have meant so much to me.
It is okay to try to maintain friendship and there's no shame in trying and failing. You can still have love for someone and wish them well, but no longer be in touch. You can treasure fond memories and friendship without still being in it. To tell you the ugly truth, growing apart is unfortunately a part of growing up. People change, friendships change, you can't plan for what will or won’t come your way. However, the ones who stay in your life? They will always be worth it.
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