Falling Into Myself: Lessons I Learned by Letting Go

This year I really learnt what it feels like to fall, not down, but in.
Into myself. Into those quiet corners I used to avoid, the ones cluttered with old expectations and stories that no longer belonged to me. It felt like walking into an old attic filled with dust-covered memories, realising that some of the boxes I had been guarding so closely were filled with things I had outgrown.

We spend so much time patching up the cracks, holding everything together — plans, people’s expectations, perceptions, and the fragile glass sculpture of who we think we should be — that we do not even realise how heavy it has all become. Eventually, the sculpture shatters under its own weight, and we are left standing amidst the fragments, holding only ourselves. The only way forward is to put everything down, sweep the floor, and learn to let go.

Letting go sounds peaceful, like a leaf drifting gently downstream — but it is not always. It was hard, and still is, when certain relationships ended, when plans unravelled, and when my sense of direction blurred. It is natural to scramble for control in those moments. I vividly remember that all I wanted was to rebuild everything that was slipping away from me. But over time, I started to notice something: it did not matter how tightly I grasped, I could not stop the seasons from changing. The moment I realised this, it all started to feel easier, and I could finally breathe again.

That was when I learnt that letting go is not about giving up. It is about creating space for something lighter and more meaningful.

I had to let go of expectations — of what I thought my life should look like by now: what job I should be doing, where I should be career-wise, how quickly I should be healing and growing, and who I should love. Those timelines were never mine to begin with; they were inherited from comparisons, from the pressure of watching everyone else’s life unfold in front of my eyes. So I had to start asking myself: what if I move at my own pace?

When we hit our mid-twenties, it is easy to feel like we are behind. People start serious jobs, our friends get engaged and married, everyone suddenly has a real hobby like running marathons, and all you can see on social media are the countries your mutuals have visited. But it is worth remembering that not everyone’s path is paved the same way. Some roads are winding, some are steep, and some of us are still learning to enjoy the scenery instead of chasing the destination. It would be a mistake to compare ourselves to the best versions of other people when we do not see the whole picture.

I also had to let go of other people’s narratives. I needed to realise that there is no such thing as too much or not enough, and that I did not need to fit neatly into small boxes just to make others comfortable. Personally, I have always found it extremely hard not to please people. In many of my romantic relationships, I caught myself walking on eggshells so I would not upset my partner. I constantly made myself small just to meet their expectations. I did not want to be too much. I did not want them to think I was weird or cringe and leave me because of it. But there is a kind of liberation in recognising that you do not owe it to anyone to be a version of yourself that feels small. The more I released the need to be understood or approved of, the more I felt like I was truly being myself.

Letting go was hardest when it came to my personal relationships. It does not have to be a breakup or someone completely falling out of your life for a connection to shift. Sometimes it is more subtle — like watching the colours fade from a photograph you once loved.

This year I had to let go of someone who was very dear to my heart. The relationship did not feel right anymore, so I had to choose myself and not force something that was not meant to be. In these situations, it is important to remind ourselves that there are people out there who will love us even more — people we have not met yet — and that just because letting go was the right decision, it does not mean it has to feel good. But it is also important to remember that making any kind of relationship work is never one-sided.

Falling into myself taught me that I can sit still for a moment, that stillness can be progress. That I do not have to have my whole life figured out by the end of the day, month, or even year. Everything moves around us, so it is okay that who we are and what we want can move in different directions too. It also taught me that the more I tried to hold onto something, the faster it slipped through my fingers — like trying to catch sunlight in my hands. Always remember that when you are chasing something, it usually means it is running away from you.

As I look ahead to the new year, I am not making a list of resolutions. I am not trying to fix myself or chase some distant version of happiness. Instead, I am choosing to stay open — to people, to experiences, and to fall even deeper into myself.

This year taught me that peace is not something you find at the end of a long journey or after you have conquered every storm. It is what is left after you stop fighting yourself. And that is the energy I want to carry into 2026: curiosity, adventure, and the confidence that even when everything feels uncertain, I am still becoming exactly who I am meant to be.

Here is to the new year, not as a chance to reinvent, but to return to ourselves.

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